Every Voice and Opinion Holds Equal Weight – Father’s and Son’s Alike
When a little boy grows into a young man, a junior, a teenager, his father should become more of a friend than just a parent. Stop constantly criticizing him, planning his every move, and giving endless commands. Some men might argue, “That’s nonsense, you need to keep a firm hand, or he’ll go wild.” Many of us repeat the mistakes of our own fathers, failing to adjust our parenting approach, staying stuck in the “alpha male” mindset: “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll listen to me.” “Once you have your own place, do whatever you want. Until then, shut up and fall in line.” Ouch.
I remember hating my father for this. My teenage years weren’t easy—I was always out wandering, exploring the world, and school was the last thing on my mind. In the end, I graduated with honors, but I had to fight my way through the mud on my own, without any help from my dad.
Maybe that’s when I decided that when I had kids of my own, I would do everything in my power to ensure they never felt as stupid and insignificant as I did back then. So, I try my best. And I think I’m doing okay. Even though, sometimes, I grit my teeth—probably the same way my dad once did because of me.
Every Voice and Opinion Holds Equal Weight
I’d sign my name under this philosophy. It took me a while to put it into practice, and sometimes I forget, but I can wholeheartedly recommend it.
"Guys, this works."
Since I’m becoming more of a friend to Luky than just a strict dad, I make an effort to really listen to him. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. No matter how “out there” or spot-on his opinions are, I take them seriously. When I shifted my mindset and stopped immediately judging and categorizing his thoughts (which we men and managers are so good at), something interesting happened. Luky started seeing me differently—he’s not afraid to share most of his opinions, and, believe it or not, he’s even learned to stand his ground and argue his point constructively. Amazing.
We’re All in the Same Boat, Dads
Just today, I had a great conversation with a future colleague from an online agency. He talked about his twenty-year-old son—how he had transformed before his eyes from a sweet, angelic child into a total rebel. And he couldn’t do a thing about it. The change happened so fast that he simply didn’t know how to respond. The same old story.
And we agreed—sometimes, you just have to survive it and stay available in the background. When your almost-adult son needs something “fixed,” let him know you’re there. Be his friend. Trust that he will appreciate it… maybe not now, but eventually. And in the meantime, surround him with solid male role models—coaches, grandfathers, uncles, mentors—so that his thoughts don’t just bounce off a wall but find fertile ground to take root and grow.
So remember—never dismiss your son’s voice or opinion. Don’t judge it. Just listen and acknowledge it. After all, you were just as clueless at his age. Think back… and maybe laugh about it together with a simple, “Hmmm… good man.”😊
Ronin born from the beech, simply a Beechboy
I work with youth, organizing outdoor adventure events for families, children’s camps, and travel camps. In my work, I focus mainly on the relationships between fathers and their sons, raising awareness of true masculinity, the upbringing of today’s boys, and awakening their dads. As part of this therapeutic work, I run a non-profit organization with a group of friends called Goodman, with its development program, Goodman Road. I'm a huge lover of nature and a storyteller of forest creatures. My beliefs are: The right man can only be raised by another man. A Good man. And another one: Protect the trees, learn to listen to them, and in doing so, we will save ourselves.
