For most kids, their dad is simply the BIG one

Of course, we know there are families where dads act like fools, including possible domestic violence. But I don't want to write about that. I want to write about us guys who are at least trying to be good dads, or who are actually living it.

Chopping wood

And as they say, examples set the pace, so the first thing that comes to mind: an axe and chopping wood. Ouch, nooo. Something could happen, our boy could chop his finger off. We wouldn’t make it to the emergency room in time, and he’d bleed out on the way – that would be quite the mess at home 🙂. But if you’re not dealing with a chronic blood clotting issue with your son, don’t be silly and just go for it. There’s nothing better than handing your boy an axe and safely teaching him how to chop wood. First, of course, small twigs that break easily in your hand and snap right under the axe. Then bigger ones, and finally splinters from dry planks or branches. The logs can wait until you’re more confident that he’ll actually hit them.

Just spending that time together counts. Praise him, teach him, raise him. But be careful, don’t be impatient – the skill will come with time. Right now, you’re the teacher in real-time. And the axe is your tool. When you both carry the “wood” you chopped to the fireplace in the cottage, he’ll remember it for a long time. He’ll be proud of himself. And will mom complain? Maybe, so what? Will she be warmed up by the crackling fire? She will, so no worries.

Lighting a Fire

It’s the same with starting a fire. Let him try, be patient. Will it smoke? Of course, it will, like crazy 🙂. You might realize how difficult something as simple as starting a fire can be for kids and even adults these days. It’s just not an experience they have. There’s no opportunity, and the phone doesn’t have a built-in laser for that yet 🙂

And so, here comes the big dad. Take your son for a weekend afternoon, grab some sausages, bread, mustard, ketchup, and head, ideally on foot or in your car, somewhere near the woods or a campsite. Somewhere you can safely start a fire. Gather some dry wood, or break off dry branches from a tree (they might be damp on the ground, but dry on the tree). Pine cones burn really well too. It’s really fun – make small bunches of twigs, become the teacher. The outdoorsman. Let your son try it himself. Hand him some matches. Show him how to protect the flame with the matchbox or your other hand until the match catches. Show him that you can burn yourself too, and how you cool the tip of your finger by pressing it to the cold earlobe. It’s fine if it doesn’t go well at first – he needs that experience. Then light the fire together – hand in hand, side by side. Ideally with matches, but a lighter and some newspaper will work too. Keep the Pepo for the cottage stove.  🙂

“Mom, I can light a fire now. Dad taught me.” That sounds so good. Just a big dad.

Taking him around the shoulders and roasting the sausage

Then all that’s left is to cut a long enough stick with a knife and skewer the sausage on it. Won’t he cut himself with the knife? Why would he? And if it happens, that’s what dads are for – they’ll take care of that cut. I remember when Luky was eight and took his new Swiss knife to the water for the first time, cut a stick, and whoops, he ended up cutting his finger. Tears, blood, and dad. And we continue.

Now for the sausages. “Do you want it, dad, like a hedgehog or an octopus?” And it starts to smell so good. You put your arm around your boy and give him that much-needed safety. A safe space, a home, a family. That’s my big dad. That great dad.

And you both head home as two guys who know how to gather wood, start the fire, warm up by the flames, and roast a perfect sausage. Two proud boys. Proud of each other. And so what if dad is cut from the knife, or the kid’s got a scratch from a branch, or a burned finger from the match? It was worth it! “Mom, I’m going with dad again next weekend. He promised me. And promises are meant to be kept, right?”

And finally, the usual sentence

“My old man won’t manage this, he’ll probably set himself on fire first.”

This part is for the women. Come on... He’s a man, and he’ll figure it out. And if not, he’ll find a tutorial on YouTube. Trust him. Don’t put him down in front of his son, and most importantly, DON’T INTERRUPT HIM! Pack up the basket with sausages and kick him out the door. The big dad adventure begins 🙂