The Other One…
A story of two sisters who stopped comparing and started growing side by side… Both carry the name of the same father, and each fought for his love in her own way. When he left, they were left alone, each different, yet forever connected.
We are two sisters. Our whole lives side by side, each so different, and yet we deeply need each other.
She dives into depths in a single breath, I seek depth in people. She loves adrenaline, I love the silence of mountains. She adores sharks, I’m terrified of them.
Her life is fast, dynamic, untamed. I love peace, nature, the touch of the desert. She’s a diplomat at heart, always perfect, prepared, confident. I’m an artist at heart, a Libra, a woman of relationships, questions, and emotions.
I often feel like the other one. The one who isn’t as bold, but feels everything at its core. I dance through life to the rhythm that’s playing… sometimes passionately, sometimes softly, but always truthfully.
Dad connected us, and at the same time, placed us in two different lights. She was his star, I was his mirror. With her, he shared joy over motorcycles, performance, courage. With me, he argued, defined boundaries, and fought.
Scars remained in me, burning for a long time, and still, I was the one who spent his final moments with him. The one who quietly helped him plan his farewell and the closing of his life chapter. His departure was sudden. In those few days between inhale and exhale, everything I’d carried inside for years came to the surface. And just then, right before the end, he told me for the first and last time:
"I love you very much, and thank you for everything. Live fully! I regret nothing, and I wouldn’t change a thing in my life."
Those words settled inside me. I stopped fighting. With him, and within myself. I no longer needed to search for his love elsewhere… in partners who couldn’t give it to me, in people I was never enough for.
I stopped attracting men with authority that made me shrink. And if I feel that the man across from me doesn’t allow me to be whole, I can say no. Enough. Without guilt.
I’m starting to realize that love doesn’t have to be fought for. I want to live in it.
And my sister?
It was her pain over dad’s passing that brought us together. We are no longer two rivals for his attention. We are two women, two sisters. Two forces that stopped the jealousy and started holding each other up.
She’s the one who first notices when I fall. Who cares. Who is genuinely happy when I thrive.
And I feel the same.
Our relationship isn’t flawless, even now, but it’s real.
Without her, my world wouldn’t make sense.
Because she is my root of certainty.
And even though we shine differently, we both shine.
I believe every relationship, especially between siblings, has the chance to transform. Maybe it takes time. Maybe old wounds, illusions, and ideas about who’s better, stronger, more loved need to leave first.
But if real love remains within us, we can find a way back to each other. Not to the past, where it hurt, but to the present, where we both know who we are, and where we no longer have to compete, just see and support each other.
Sometimes all it takes is one conversation, one honest look, when we stop trying to prove something and simply say:
"I’m here. And I’m grateful that you are too."
I’m still learning. Still fighting sometimes, with what’s left inside me, and with how even an innocent comment from mom can still sting. When we hear what the other one did, how she makes her feel safe.
And still, I now know this doesn’t have to be my battle. That I don’t need to prove my worth again to be loved.
This is my path. The path back to myself. To the feeling that I am enough, just as I am.
And when I can believe that myself, the old shadows stop echoing. And what’s left is only quiet, deep love… for me, for mom, for my sister… for life.
Calmory’s note:
Every relationship is a story. Sometimes complicated, sometimes painful, but always with the possibility of transformation.
Healing a sibling bond doesn’t mean going back to childhood. It means rewriting the story inside yourself.
Creating space for love where there used to be struggle. Stopping the comparison. Starting to grow together.
Calmory tips for healing your inner child and building connection with a sibling or parent:
- Write a letter to your younger self. Tell them what they needed to hear back then.
- Share your feelings with loved ones, without blame, just as your truth.
- Notice what the other brings to your life, not just what you missed.
- Allow yourself to be different. Your way of being is just as valuable as theirs.
- Forgive yourself and others for not knowing how to do it differently before.
- Create a new ritual — a shared trip, a quiet evening together, or a message for no reason.
- Respect your own boundaries, and still look for ways to stay connected.
- And if it hurts — talk about it. Even with a therapist if needed.
Because every relationship healing begins with healing the relationship to yourself.
A Woman Who Writes About Life As It Really Is
Antonie is a woman who knows the power of human stories and isn’t afraid to write about them. She has gone through burnout, loneliness, and the search for a balance between caring for others and herself. She is a mother who shares custody of her children, a partner, a friend, and a woman who sometimes doesn’t know what comes next. But it is this authenticity that gives her the courage to address topics that others often hide behind smiles. She herself says that writing is her way of naming things aloud and perhaps helping others feel less alone. In Antonie’s writings, you will find honesty, perspective, and motivation that you can rise again, even from rock bottom. She believes in the power of friendship, love, and simple rituals that help manage everyday reality.
