Anchoring Daily Routines and Rituals

We All Need Daily Routines

Whether we’re happily married men, divorced, in a relationship, with family, or alone. Whether we feel lonely or lead a lively social life. Without regular routines, life just seems to slip through our fingers. For some, routines help escape loneliness; for others, they provide solitude and intentional time with oneself.

And what we often lack most is time for ourselves. Stepping away from the daily rush, closing the door, or taking a breath under the trees in the park. Shutting off from the world, family, relationships, or work. But instead, we grab our morning coffee, cigarette, phone, Instagram, photos, videos... and the cycle starts. And we end up exactly where we shouldn’t. At least, in my opinion.

But what if we used these quiet moments—when no one is bothering us—to establish something regular? Something that benefits both our body and mind? Killing two birds with one stone?

Struggling to Exercise Regularly?

A classic question, relevant from February through December—once those New Year's resolutions wear off. Here, I’ll focus more on men, because I think we approach this differently than women.

Every morning, we glance in the mirror, flex our biceps, suck in our stomach, hold our breath... and then exhale. Do this 100 times, and boom—perfect body. Ha ha. Then, we sit on the couch with two cups of coffee, scroll through Instagram to check out new exercises, and save a bunch of workout videos in our phone notes. Because, of course, this time we’ll actually follow through and start tomorrow. Right? The dopamine hits, it feels great.

But the next day, the same thing happens. Except now, we’re even more frustrated with ourselves for not following through. The classic vicious cycle. We all know it. The mind is willing, the body desperately needs it, but something always gets in the way. Stopping us from committing. From making it routine.

Sound familiar? Here are some common excuses:

• "I don’t have time in the morning; I barely manage coffee before rushing out."
• "Everything hurts."
• "I’ve picked all the exercises, but I don’t know where to start."
• "I worked out last week—I even hit the bench press!"
• "No time, no time, no time."

Forget the Marathon, Just Take One Small Step

I admire people who can stick to a routine. Who push through discomfort and bad moods to keep going every day. Because they know that these daily rituals contribute to better mental well-being, provide direction in life, and keep them grounded. As the saying goes:

"A healthy mind in a healthy body."

I know many men who struggled their way into a routine. It wasn’t easy—they quit many times. But I respect them for starting over and sticking with it.

The internet, books, and social media are packed with tips on building a regular workout routine. Which app to use, which method works best. So why do we never follow through? I think it’s because there are too many options. Our brains are overloaded, and we don’t know where to start. Which exercise is best? How many reps? What’s the ideal duration? Stretching, jumping, weightlifting—what’s the right approach?

And because men are social creatures, we tend to trust what our friends are doing. If it works for them, it must work for us too. And why not? Here are some routines that work for me, my friends, and acquaintances.

50 Years of the Same Workout Routine

I know a guy who’s nearly 80. He walks without a cane, steady on his feet. Sure, he takes meds for various ailments, but every week, he makes time for volleyball with friends—and even a beer now and then. Volleyball at 80? Respect. And he was never an athlete, just a field officer.

For 50 years, he’s been doing the same exercise routine—a mix of stretching, yoga, and old-school gymnastics. It used to take him 10 minutes; now, it takes 20. But he does it every single day. And yes, he can still do 20 perfect push-ups. How many of us can say the same at 50?

When we imagine it. Every day, 20 minutes of exercise. Let’s include squats, push-ups, sit-ups, stretching for the back and legs, leg raises, cat position exercises, and all sorts of twisting around. Nothing complicated. But he does it every day. Every single day!

And what’s important, it is firmly anchored in time. He always exercises before his morning coffee. Always, without exception. He puts water on to boil for his morning Turkish coffee (by the way, also a ritual) and goes to exercise. So, imagine it. You take freshly ground, fragrant coffee, one teaspoon into a glass. Then you pour water into the kettle and click the heat on. And that’s the anchor. At that moment, he has time until the boiled water settles and cools down as needed. During the workout, he pours the coffee and continues exercising. That is the perfect time for his daily workout. He exercises every day.

Morning Walk for Fresh Bread Instead of Newspapers

I love fresh morning bread. The smell, the taste—it’s pure bliss. I bet most of you feel the same. A friend of mine built his morning routine around bread. He wakes up early for work. He used to pick up a newspaper—now he walks the same route daily to buy fresh bread instead. He has news on his phone now.

And thanks to the fact that he has time in the morning because of waking up early, he has built a regular routine and always walks the same route. There and back. Altogether, he covers 6 kilometers every day. He chats with dog owners, checks the trees along the way, sometimes picks up a piece of trash and throws it in the bin. He catches up on the latest news. It’s also a kind of social insight into the life of the neighborhood and community.

He meets the same people every day. They know each other. They take care of their routes and love them.

Every day, before they bite into fresh bread. And it doesn’t matter if the sun is shining, it’s freezing, raining, or snowing. On the hallway rack, he has a raincoat, an umbrella, and the right shoes ready. He always sets out. It’s a part of him. Bread is his anchor.

50 Push-Ups in the Bathroom After Shaving

Another friend—my karate trainer—does 50 push-ups every morning in the bathroom. Leaning on the sink at a 45-degree angle. Easier push-ups, but still effective. He’s nearing 50 and hasn’t skipped a day since I’ve known him.

His anchor? The moment he closes the bathroom door and greets “that stranger in the mirror.” Right after shaving, before even brushing his hair. He doesn’t think about it anymore—it’s as automatic as shaving or brushing teeth.

50 Glute Squeezes While Brushing Teeth

I think we all know what the pelvic floor is. Men know that the prostate can also cause quite a bit of trouble. And so, the smart advice tells us: exercise your pelvic floor, tighten your anus and glutes. Then your prostate won’t bother you as much. Yeah, sure. But when exactly? Simply while you’re brushing your teeth in the morning. In this case, the anchor is the moment of your morning toothbrushing. Whether standing by the sink or in the bathtub—that’s up to you and your preferred cleaning ritual. But count to fifty, slowly. And each time, tighten your glutes, pull in your stomach, and engage your pelvic floor. Every day, 50 times. Your teeth will be as clean as marble, and you men will have a stronger physique—and last a little longer in bed. 😉

Take One Step, Anchor It, and Stick With It

From these few examples, I know for myself that it’s possible. You just need to choose what your mind and body can handle. No master-level challenges (those might come on their own later). Anchor the activity to a regular daily moment—whether it’s brushing your teeth, shaving, getting dressed, or commuting to and from work. And then stick with it, grit your teeth. And don’t be afraid to yell at yourself: “You got this, you idiot! Don’t you dare give up, you moron!” And suddenly, it will start working.

And when you slowly create and anchor more of these daily routines, you’ll build your own system. Suddenly, your mind will function better, and you’ll feel significantly better both physically and mentally. Give it a try. The routines I mentioned above—I picked them up from friends, overheard them in the pub, or picked them up in a group. Try some of the ones listed, or better yet, bring it up over a beer and ask what routines your friends have. I bet there will be quite a few.