Silence in Friendship: When Friends Fade Away Without Explanation
I know that feeling. Silence where there used to be laughter. When someone close to you, a friend or a girlfriend, disappears from your life, and you don’t really know why? So, you start looking for answers within yourself. I’ve been through it, and I know that silence was sometimes worse than a breakup.
When the one who was like a sister stops answering
I had a friend, let’s call her Jana. We were inseparable. We spent years of our youth together, knowing each other inside out. We laughed over wine, danced all night at parties, spent hours on the phone every day, and were there for each other whenever needed.
When Jana got married, she moved to another city, so regular meetings became impossible. For a while, we still called each other every day, telling each other everything like we had for years. And then suddenly... nothing. She stopped responding. She didn’t return my messages, didn’t pick up the phone.
Uncertainty is Like a Stone on Your Heart
At first, I told myself she must be really busy, and that’s why she wasn’t getting in touch. That it probably wasn’t personal. But a week turned into a month, a month into two. And the worst scenarios crept into my mind. "What did I do?" "Did I offend her?" "Did I neglect her when I didn’t deal with her problems with the kids and work?" It felt like I had lost a part of myself.
Silence Without a Reason Was the Worst
There was no farewell, no conflict. Just emptiness. And the worst part was the uncertainty. Because when someone says, “we can’t talk anymore,” it’s painful but clear.
But when someone disappears without a word, you’re left with an open question that echoes in your head over and over: “Why?”
When Silence Becomes a Burden
In those days, I often sat at home in the evening, replaying every meeting, every conversation in my head. "Did I say something that might have upset her? What happened that she doesn’t want to talk to me?" Didn’t I miss her? I was looking for the fault in myself.
Over time, I realized that people leaving isn’t always about what we did wrong, but about the fact that their paths have changed.
A Coincidence After a While
A year later, when I had almost let it go, we met at a mutual friend’s celebration. My heart was racing when I saw her. She was visibly uncertain too, but after a moment, we started talking.
And then it came. She told me: "You know, I had to cut myself off from you. At home, I had a problem because of it. My husband was really jealous and wanted me to spend the time we spent on the phone with my family and our relationship. And I also felt like you didn’t always tell me things that I would like to hear."
And I just quietly replied: "That’s what friends are for, Jana. To tell the truth, even when it hurts."
The Truth That Heals
We hugged. We both felt that some things between us would be different now, but that the bond we once had is still there, somewhere. Since then, we’ve each gone our separate ways and meet a few times a year. Even though it’s not the same daily sharing, I feel peace, respect, and a quiet understanding that we connect differently now.
I realized that friendship is a relationship like any other, one that requires our attention, care, and most of all, honesty. Sometimes I think that when we are friends, everything will go smoothly. But that’s not always true.
Even friendship can lose its spark over time if we don’t take care of it.
At the same time, I accepted that no friend is “given” to us forever. Everyone has the right to leave when their path changes. And when that happens, it doesn’t mean we’ve done something wrong or that we’re less valuable.
It’s sometimes hard to accept, sometimes it hurts, but I believe that every meeting in our life has its purpose. And even when some friendships fade, they always leave behind an experience that helps us grow.
Friendship is a relationship that needs care and honesty.
Maybe while reading these lines, you thought of someone who used to be close to you but is no longer part of your life. Maybe you feel sadness, regret, or disappointment. And that’s okay! These feelings are part of life and friendship.
I know how hard it is to accept change when we don’t want it. So, I’m sharing a few affirmations that help me when these feelings overwhelm me. Maybe they’ll bring you relief too. Maybe they’ll just inspire you to create your own.
“Relationships need care and honesty.”
“When someone leaves, I have the right to trust others.”
“Not every story ends forever.”
“I have the strength to accept change and forgive.”
We all have our own way of dealing with these situations.
A Woman Who Writes About Life As It Really Is
Antonie is a woman who knows the power of human stories and isn’t afraid to write about them. She has gone through burnout, loneliness, and the search for a balance between caring for others and herself. She is a mother who shares custody of her children, a partner, a friend, and a woman who sometimes doesn’t know what comes next. But it is this authenticity that gives her the courage to address topics that others often hide behind smiles. She herself says that writing is her way of naming things aloud and perhaps helping others feel less alone. In Antonie’s writings, you will find honesty, perspective, and motivation that you can rise again, even from rock bottom. She believes in the power of friendship, love, and simple rituals that help manage everyday reality.
